"The Returning" by Nathan D. Ludwig

March 20th, 2054

I am seventeen…

Tomorrow I will be eighteen.

At least, that is what should transpire. For you, maybe.

The Ides of March give way to the Spring Equinox and with it, the seasonal “returning” of those deemed unwanted before they can grasp adulthood.

Unwanted for many reasons. All legal now. Too fat, too thin, too moody, too happy, too lively, not lively enough. Too smart, not smart enough.

For loving too much, for not loving enough.

For loving someone not in their plans.

The insane whims of bad parents are too terrible to predict these days.

They call this season’s returnings Spring Cleaning.

I am seventeen…

I sit upon the flat rock overlooking the lake where I first met her. Where I first met Maryse. The sun is setting. I know they will find me here, but I do not care anymore. I want to see her. I want to remember her. How she smelled. How she sounded.   

And it’s such a good memory. One I’m terrified of losing. Once I’m gone, no one will remember her how I saw her. How seeing her made me feel.

I’m all she had left when they found her. When I die, so does she.

I want to run, to hide, to fight. But they’re just temporary solutions that delude those like us into false hope. This world is too far sunken into apathy and fear now.

I can hear them coming. Their trucks and their vans. Their sirens.

A runaway. That’s how I’m classified. They love runaways. It makes their jobs feel that much more justified.

They will bind me, they will burn me, and return most of my ashes to my mother’s loins. My father will consume the rest.

My body will not escape the selfishness and cruelty of my kin.

But I can hope my mind, my soul, whatever that may be, ends up wherever Maryse is.
I miss you, my love.

I am seventeen…
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And I will be that way forever more.

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Nathan is an author, screenwriter, and film producer. Published books include the short story collection The Comfy-Cozy Nihilist: A Handbook of Dark Fiction and the novel Love Potion #666. His short fiction has been published with Timber Ghost Press, D&T Publishing, Grinning Skull Press, and Terror Tract Publishing.

He's the founder and director of the GenreBlast Film Festival at the Alamo Drafthouse in Winchester, VA and recently co-produced the feature film adaptation of Grindhouse Press' Worst Laid Plans along with the book's editor Samantha Kolesnik.

Nathan currently resides in Richmond, VA with his wife and their two daughters.
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He loves Warren Zevon, Asian cinema, independent pro-wrestling, and a spicy bowl of ramen.

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